Where have I been???

Well, I'm sure you all have been on pins and needles wondering where I've been for the last couple of weeks. I know my riviting posts about cutting off my mole and forgetting to wear deoderant have kept you on the edge of your seats wanting more.

But seriously, it's been a little crazy around these parts lately. I've been working a lot - a whole lot. Thankfully, that seems to be slowing down some and I can hopefully get back to my normal amounts of laziness.

I commited to finishing an unfinished sewing project in the month of October on Joy's blog. She's going to have a giveaway for all the participants. I decided that this would be a great time to finish a rag quilt I started for my friend, K's youngest. It's way overdue seeing  as how she turned 2 in July. Yes, the depth of my procrastination has no bounds.

Last Sunday afternoon I decided to finish it up. I only had 3 rows left to sew so I knew it wouldn't take long. I had just finished it up, opened a drawer to look at some fabric and found a stack of squares that I had started sewing and never finished. I have no idea who I started this quilt for, but somewhere out there I assume there's a 5 year old who will never be the same for not getting a quilt lovingly made with my own two hands.

I'm not sure where it came from, but I was overcome with a need to finish it too. All I can say is I really hope I win. Here they are Joy!

I really do love sewing and wish I could do more of it. Unfortunately, I have to balance it with all my TV watching. Priorities.

Is this post for real?

I'm having one of those weeks. Actually, more like one of those months. Pretty much everything I do is wrong, or afflicted, or just plain psycho.

And why does it seem like all of a sudden absolutely everything needs to be done all at one time. My hair desperately needs to be colored. I'm sporting some serious gray roots. My toenails need to be painted. My eyebrows need to be waxed. The list goes on and on.

And then today, I forgot to wear deoderant. Thankfully, I sit in a freezing office all day so there's no chance of sweating. My mom was there and I think she came in my office several times just to make sure I wasn't stinking. The sad thing about it is that just yesterday I bought a 3 pack of Secret deoderant at Target. Oh the irony.

Speaking of deoderant, I was in the grocery store sometime when I was in middle school and I heard this girl yell out, "Hey Mom, I need some deo for my b.o." Crack me up. I'll never forget it.

You Can Quote Me

All I have to say is BASEBALL Playoffs baby! I am absolutely loving that my Yanks are on TV every night. It's like a little treat for working all day.

I got my hair cut last night - about 2 inches. My niece is going to the Xcell Academy in Hoover and it tickles me pink to have someone who does hair in the family. The best part of her going to Xcell is that a haircut is only $10. Oh yes - you read that right - TEN DOLLARS!!!

Sometimes I wish I had gone to school to do hair. I would want a shop like Truvy's in Steel Magnolias. I mean, how fun would that be??? I watched Steel Magnolias not too long ago and I really do think that might be my favorite movie of all time. I laughed. I cried. I laughed again. Ouiser has the best quotes EVER! Here are a few of my favorites.

 " I do not see plays, because I can nap at home for free. And I don't see movies 'cause they're trash, and they got nothin' but naked people in 'em! And I don't read books, 'cause if they're any good, they're gonna make 'em into a miniseries."

"This is it, I've found it, I'm in hell."

"I'm not as sweet as I used to be."

"You are a pig from hell."

"I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood for 40 years!"

"Oh! He's a real gentleman! I bet he takes the dishes out of the sink before he PEES in it!"

"He is a boil on the butt of humanity!"

Please tell me y'all love it as much as I do! OK, that's it. I'm gonna go have to watch it again - right after baseball's over.

Poop and Love

When our new Sunday School year started at the end of August, I decided not keep the nursery and go back to my Adult class with Jay. I did agree to be put on the Parent's rotation. Yes, I'm fully aware that I'm not a parent - it was a moment of weakness.

Today was my duty day and I was put in with the 2 year olds. There were 12 of them with 3 adults. Not a bad ratio - or so I thought. The problem with this age group is that they are half diapers, half panties and the ones that are in panties really aren't fully potty-trained.

We had one little girl who tee-teed in her panties. All I could think is that her parents must have given her a liter of water before she came in because it was a river all over the floor. I got her cleaned up but bless her heart, there wasn't a change of clothes in her bag so she just had to walk around in her shirt.

A little later, I actually had a little girl come tell me she had to go potty.  How awesome is that? What she didn't tell me is that she had already POOPED.ALL.UP.IN.HER.PANTIES! I cannot even tell you how gross it was. I may or may not have vomited a little in my mouth. By the time I got those panties off, there was poop all down her legs, poop on the toilet, poop on the floor and yes, poop ON MY HANDS!

It took me about 20 minutes to get her, me and the bathroom cleaned up and I'm just gonna be honest, I threw her panties away. They was just no way I was going to try and rinse them out. It was just more than i could stomach. I was sweating like a crazy woman and when the last one left, I was out of there like lightning.

And with that, I would like to wish my Hubs a Happy Anniversary. The past 12 years have been more than I could have ever hoped and most definitely more than I deserve.