Sometimes, things are just not what they seem

Ya'll, I just had a memory that made me laugh out loud. (Don't worry, Jay thought I was laughing at the TV. I'm watching House and you know how funny it is when somebody's stuck in a coma-like state but their brain is fully functioning.)

Anyway, I got to thinking about a couple of Christmas's ago when one of my Great-Aunts gave me a toaster. It was really sweet but I had never mentioned anything about needing a new toaster because let's face it, my $9.99 toaster from Wal-Mart has been working perfectly fine for the past 10 years or so.

In case you didn't know this about me, I don't have a really good track record for returning things. I drive my friend, Jill absolutely crazy because I'll buy something without trying it on, it doesn't fit, and then it sits in my closet until I end up giving it to the Hannah Home.

Again, anyway... I was really proud of myself one Saturday morning because I got up, headed to the Wal-Mart to return the toaster. I got my sticker from the checker lady at the door and then stood in a line for forever and a day. I finally made it to the front and answered a couple of questions about whether or not anything was wrong with the toaster to which I replied, "No, no - It's fine, I just have a toaster already." Ya'll, she opened that box and no lie, there were 2 jars of peanut butter in it. I thought I was going to die right then and there. She was looking at me like I was trying to pull something over on her. It was horrible. There were so many people in line behind me.

I just started sputtering apologies, grabbed my toaster box of peanut butters and got the heck out of dodge. It just goes to show, don't ever judge a toaster box by it's cover.

P.S. You'll be pleased to know that it was really good peanut butter - Peter Pan (one Crunchy and one Creamy).

P.S.S Got any good gift stories?

Weekend Update

Have you ever had those moments when you just feel completely inadequate? Well, I felt it for 3 hours straight at Embroidery Club Saturday morning. There were several times that I couldn't decide if I was about to cuss, drink or both. Please notice, I said "for 3 hours" - but the class was only scheduled for two. And what's sadder than that - I was the only member there. I had one-on-one time with the teacher AND IT STILL TOOK THAT LONG!!

Anyway, our project was to make a pillow case for a travel pillow and embroider this adorable bunny in his pajamas.

Look at his slippers!

It was definately a labor of love.

And, I weighed in this morning. I have good news and bad news. The bad news, I didn't lose 2 lbs las week. The good news, I lost 1 lb last week. But! I'm not gonna let it get me down - I'm gonna consider it a 1 lb victory - only 14 more to go!!!

Are You a Top Model?

Have I told you I am somewhat obsessed with America's Top Model? It's amazing how they'll take a little granola looking girl with limp hair and no makeup and turn her into this fashion beauty. I've pretty much watched it every season (except for the one where they had the guy/girl on there. I thought that was just taking it a little bit too far).

I've been working on my runway walk and Jay says it's pretty good (even if he's a little partial). Don't tell, but sometimes I catch myself doing poses in the mirror... Oh, if I was only about 15 years younger, 40 pounds lighter, and about 4 inches taller, I would so tryout for that show.

I have deemed myself Top Model of the Sharpe House. I dusted the competition - the cat's didn't stand a chance.

It totally worked out though that I'm not a real top model. I'm very blessed to have the best hubby in the world, a wonderful family, the best friends a girl could ever hope for and a great job. I wouldn't change a thing!

Big bunch of nuthin'

Another good day. I actually managed to get my rear up and out of the bed on time and make it to the gym this morning. You know, all those magazines and books really didn't lie - it does make you feel better.

Side Note!!! Jay just went through the channels and the Yankees are playing the Red Sox on the MLB channel. I know it's pre-season play but I still LOVE it! And please know, once the regular season starts, I will be giving you DAILY updates. This day just keeps getting better and better.

I don't have a whole lot to tell you other than God is so good. I see Him everywhere I look these days.

Can I do it?

Despite the fact that I overslept this morning and neglected to meet Jill at the track like I told her I would, it has been a TERRIFIC day. It was just one of those days where everything just seemed to go right. I'm really being serious. I'm not complaining like I normally do.

OK, I have a goal that I need all of you to help me with. I want to lose 15 pounds in 8 weeks. I know that's a lofty goal - especially for someone who is addicted to food, no self-control, an emotional eater, etc. but I really, really want to do it. I'm going to California with my Sister-in-Law at the end of May and she is just as cute as she can be and a perfect size. Oh, and she has perfect hair. It's naturally curly but she can straighten it and it looks great that way too. Sick, huh?

My main problem is that I can't seem to withstand temptation. For instance (I am totally calling you out MICHELLE!), Michelle and I went to Wal-Mart on our lunch break. She stopped by McDonald's to get some lunch and I had a mental war in my head about whether or not to get some fries. I finally decided not to and was feeling mighty good and do you know, she ordered me some without me knowing! Of course, I couldn't let them go to waste...

So, I've got Jay on board at home, Darren on board in my office and Michelle better be on board (after this bloggy scolding) and Jill is on board for when we hang out. I'm also gonna work my booty off (hopefully literally) at the gym.

So here's my commitment to ya'll - 15 pounds in 8 weeks. I'm gonna weigh-in every Sunday and I'll let you know - gain or loss.

Bloggy Brain Burnout Break

I know it's been awhile but my bloggy brain decided to take a Spring Break like all the school kids... Here's my week in review:

Monday-Jay and I were off work and we had a great day of being completely lazy.

Tuesday-Work

Wednesday-Work

Thursday-Mama's Birthday! I took off work and Mama and I met Brother, Sister and the kids at Granddaddy's. It was a GREAT day. You can check out some pics over at Sister's blog. Mama was so sweet and cooked everybody's lunch for her birthday present. Isn't that precious?

Friday-Work. Jay and I watched the movie Lakeview Terrace. It wasn't terrible, but I don't recommend it. I give it a 5 and that's being generous.

Saturday-Jay had weekend coverage so being the outdoorsy people that Mama and I are, we enjoyed one of the most beautiful days ever by going shopping. We met Jill, her Mom, Graci and Hope at Brookwood Mall for lunch and ate at Jason's Deli. It was fun. I came home, took a nap and prepared a delicious supper of Chick-Fil-A. (By the way, I actually got fruit instead of fries. There's hope for me yet.)

Today-I went to Church, took a nap, and went grocery shopping. I got to looking at the Northpark cookbook this morning and saw Sister's recipe for Rotel Chicken. Ya'll it's sooo good! I haven't made it in a while because last time I made it, Jay got sick. I really don't think it caused his sickness but I tend to get a little paranoid since I'm not the best cook in the world. But, it's been a couple of years, so I tried it again. I'll let you know how it goes.

Love ya'll!

It's Really True - Part 2

I'm sorry ya'll but I can't get over this whole lady stuck on the toilet deal. I just had to research it some more. This is what I found out:

• This woman had open sores that caused her skin to adhere to the toilet. She would have had to be sitting on the toilet for at least a month for that to happen.
• He said the reason he finally called the police was because she was acting groggy, as if she didn't know what was going on around her. (How about the biggest clue that she didn't know what was going on around her was that she had been in the bathroom for 2 years!)
• The sheriff said that there was a horrible odor in the house that came from the bathroom. (No words.)
• The guy was charged with a misdeanor of mistreatment of a dependent adult. The judge sentenced him to 6 months in jail but he ended up getting probation after toilet woman asked the judge for leniency. Apparently, she was heard to say that she didn't think it was his fault. (What?!)
• Toilet woman has an aunt that called the hospital everyday to check on her. (I think she might be a little too late. She might should have started that 2 years ago.)
• It was also reported on 10/07/08 that this guy has won $20,000 in the lottery. (I guess he'll be able to buy a new toilet.)
  
  Here's a little video I found. The boyfriend actually let himself be seen on TV.
  

I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say that it may not be a good idea for 2 crazy people to hook up.