What?!

OK, so I had this crazy dream last night and I am totally perplexed at how my brain came up with it. It was just so out there in Bizarro World which shouldn't be surprising since I feel like I'm living in Bizarro World most of the time... but this was REALLY out there.

Here it is:

All of a sudden I'm on this stage where my friend, Kerrie, is getting ready to put on this play about the Brady Bunch. Now the fact that it's about the Brady Bunch doesn't surprise me at all seeing as how Kerrie has loved everything Brady since practically birth. What did surprise me was that Kerrie was directing this play. For those of you who don't know Kerrie, she tends to be a tad shy and doesn't usually put herself in the position of, oh I don't know, say, directing a play.

(Side Note: The Brady Bunch movie came out when I was in college and don't think Kerrie didn't make several of us dress up as the kids and go. I'm really not sure why, but I got assigned to be Greg. I wore some bellbottoms that were my mom's when she was in high school. No lie, we actually did this - it's not a part of the dream.)

So, I'm on this stage with tons of people and it turns out that the play is tonight. This is the first I've heard about it and I'm supposed to be Jan. (Really, Jan? And of course, Kerrie cast herself as Marcia.) Well, obviously, it doesn't occur to me to be worried about my lines, I'm more concerned with the fact that I don't have an outfit and my hair is not blonde. I guess I'm assuming that this would be the later years where they do the little novelty shows and I can wing it.

Anyway, the blonde hair was a BIG issue in this dream, so my siser-in-law and I head to Wal-Mart to buy some yellow and white spray paint so we can mix up a nice color to spray on my hair. We got back, the play is starting, no time to do my hair and I have no outfit. I do find a bag on the floor that has some jeans that miraculously fit except that they are about 2 inches to short (not good in the bellbottom era) and this shirt that I can't even describe.

Then the panic sets in - I don't know my lines! - it's not a novelty show! - I can't find a script! - my heart is beating faster and faster - the audience is huge - and then I wake up.

The dream was SO vivid. What could possibly made my brain think that up and impose it on my dear, sweet brain that wanted to be dreaming about laying out by a pool with a brand new book???

So.... my wonderful internet friends... can you please interpret this dream for me???

I Think The Heat Is Frying My Brain

I cannot believe this heat. I guess I should be used to it since I've spent the entire 34 years of my life in Alabama but ya'll, this has got to be the worst EVER! I think it's sucking the lifeblood out of me. Not really, but I am seriously concerned that it's cooking the juices in my brain and rendering me stupid.

There's just been a series of things lately that make me wonder if all my candles aren't lit upstairs in the brain department. For instance, Monday night I had Bunko and of course by the time I got out of my car and walked the 10 steps or so into the house I felt drained of all energy. Once when I was keeping score, I marked everybody's points for me and my partner which was a Ghost. When it was over, I couldn't do anything but chalk up a big loss for me and my Ghost partner who I'm pretty sure was thankful to get away from me. But huge shout out to Kerrie for making THE best dessert and I would like to go ahead and request that you make me one of those for my birthday. Thanks.

Then last night, I braved the heat and went to the gym. It took everything I had not to get off on the exit to my house and continue on to the gym. No kidding, I got there and had forgotten to pack my bottoms. Thankfully, J2 was just getting ready to leave and she let me wear her bottoms. Ya'll, putting on somebody else's sweaty bottoms and then sweating in them yourself is just gross. I could only do it for 25 minutes and the grossness of it all was just too much. I got my stuff and headed to the car. And FOR THE LOVE, those stinking shorts were sitting right there on the passenger seat!

It seems like I'm forgetting everything lately except for the Jim N Nicks lemon pie that I took out to a friend who just had surgery. Ya'll I can't quit thinking about it. It stared at me from the passenger seat all the way to their house. Seriously, I have been thinking about that pie for 2 days. I have even considered getting one Saturday and eating the whole thing right after my Weight Watchers meeting. Totally kidding. I think. Please don't judge me.

What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger

No lie, it's 12:10AM and I'm still awake. I'm not sure what the deal is because I'm not even the least bit sleepy. I know that a lot of you out there keep these late hours but in my normal Jill world, I would have been asleep for a good 2 1/2 hours.

Could it be that I'm still awake because of the trauma I experienced today??? Let me give you a little background info and then you can decide.

Sunday, my whole family went down to my Granddaddy's for Father's Day. It was so great to play with Sister's kids and see everybody. My Mama and my Aunt Renee cooked lunch and it was DELICIOUS! My great-aunt was even there and had brought us some gifts from a trip she had just taken. It was just a great laid back day.

Today - back to reality. I was at work when my cell phone rang and I saw that it was my great-aunt. I was a little surprised because it's not like we talk a lot or anything. This is how the conversation went:

G.A. - Are you busy?
Me - No, what's up?
G.A. - Have you had your thyroid checked?
Me - No.
G.A. - YOU SHOULD!
Me - (wondering what the woman is talking about) Why?
G.A. - A lot of weight gain can be caused by thyroid problems.

No lie ya'll, I am not making this up. The conversation went on for a couple of more minutes as she said again about 3 more times how weight gain can be caused by thyroid problems.

Now, I am well aware that I have gained weight, but seriously - was this for real? Oh, yes mam, it was. I have no doubt that she meant well because she is one of the sweetest ladies you'll ever meet but I was not mentally prepared to have that conversation. In fact, I'm fairly certain that I will NEVER be mentally prepared to have that conversation.

And just in case you're wondering... this is the same Aunt from the toaster and peanut butter story.

Ode to my Daddy-O

Today our sermon was on teaching Dad's to be a blessing to their children. Bro. Bill used an acrostic to show traits of a good Father. It went like this:

F-aithful (to God, Family and Commitments)
A-uthentic
T-ruthful
H-umble
E-xample
R-Righteous

In every single point and verse that was read for each of these things, my Daddy measured up. One thing he said was that where there is a godly dad, his children are blessed after him. I've always known how lucky and blessed I was to have him for my Daddy but I realized today that so many of my blessings in life have and do come because of his godliness.

I remember in 6th grade I decided I wanted to do Bible Drills. He told me that if I wanted to do it, I had to be commited to learning the verses. And he commited to helping me. For almost a year, he came home every single night and went over the verses with me. I learned them all and ended up going to the State competition and receiving the award for State Winner Perfect. I say all that because I want you to know that he sacrificed a lot of time to help me get there.

You probably won't believe this (ha!) but I didn't have a lot of ambition during my college years. I begged him to let me come work for his company (mainly so I wouldn't have to go out and interview for jobs) and he agreed. He patiently taught me the business and how to be a programmer. It's been 12 1/2 years since that first day. It's been really hard but I'm so thankful because I have a relationship with him that I never would have had.

I wish everyone had a Daddy like mine. In almost 35 years I cannot remember one situation where he didn't act with integrity. I love you so much, I hope you've had a wonderful Father's Day!

Love me, love my quirks

Sister dedicated a short little post to me today that had the phrase "Just put a little lipstick on, I'll be alright." Just the fact that she put that out there really made me start thinking about some "quirks" that I have. I'm not apologizing for them, they just help make me who I am. You can take me or leave me. (Except you, Jay. You have to keep me forever.) And let's face it, you all have quirks too - whether you admit them or not.

So in the interest of full disclosure, I thought I would give you a few:

1. The aforementioned lipstick - I love lipstick. I am still searching for that "perfect one" but I have come close with Loreal Colour Rich #836 Eva's Caramel. When you roll it up, you can see tiny little gold flecks that just thrill my soul for some reason. I firmly believe that every woman looks better with a little lipstick - as long as it's the right color, mind you. I am not a fan of the "nude" look on lips. It just doesn't seem right when I see a lady in full makeup and her lips are the same color as her skin. Huh? Why? Put on some pretty, pretty lipstick! Brighten up that face!

2. I want all ladies to wear earrings. Now, if you're ears aren't pierced, you are exempt. But if your ears are pierced - WEAR YOUR EARRINGS! Seeing that whole with no earring in it is not cute.

3. Paint your toenails. You just need to. I must confess that I recently went almost 2 weeks with my toenails not painted. I don't even know why I did it. It goes against everything I believe in related to my feet. I will tell you, my attitude in an open-toed shoe with painted toenails vs. unpainted - world's apart! And don't get me started on chipped toenail polish...

4. I have this "thing" about the way I lay in bed. I lay on my side. If for instance, I fall asleep on my left side and wake up for any reason, I immediately have to turn over on my right side. If I'm laying on my right side and get up to go to the bathroom, I cannot return and lay on my right side again. I have to turn on my left. It's some serious crazy. I've tried to overcome it just to see if I could but it's just not happenin'. I'm living with it.

5. I love bags - all bags. I would never even consider paying more for Clinque and Estee Lauder if it wasn't for those dang Bonuses WITH THE BAGS! And let me go to some kind of conference or something and they give me a tote - oh my.... Walking throught TJ Maxx or Marshalls or SteinMart and looking at their bags is like a little piece of heaven. I will say I get this honestly, my Mama passed this onto me - I think it was the "For the love, we need another bag" gene. Seriously, it's a part of our DNA.

That's all I better give you for now. I wouldn't want you to think there's something wrong with me or anything. Some of you who know me well may think of some I've missed - feel free to leave me a comment to remind me. And for the rest of you, let me know some of yours.

Elvis still makes the gals tremble...

I was listening to Rick & Bubba this morning at work and they were talking about how Graceland is having this deal where they wanted people to let them know if they ever had a personal experience with Elvis. (They didn't say this but I'm pretty sure they mean before he died.) Anyway,this woman named Joan called in. Apparently she's called in before and sang to Rick & Bubba because they called her Singin' Joan.

Anyway, she started telling this story about how she dated Elvis before he became famous and how he loved her so much that he asked her to marry him. Then he went on the Ed Sullivan show, got famous and married Priscilla. Joan claims that Elvis has only had 3 girlfriends - her, Priscilla and Ann Margaret and that anybody that says they have dated Elvis and their name isn't Joan, Priscilla or Ann Margaret is a liar. Ya'll, it was so funny. I honestly thought I might pee in my pants for a minute. Bless her, she said she had to get off the phone because she was trembling.

I'm not sure if I've told ya'll this before, but I am fascinated with people. When I meet someone, I want to learn all about them. I think this has a lot to do with my fascination with reality
television. I just love to see how other people live and what makes them tick. As hard as it is to
admit, I'm a reality TV junkie. And bless Jay's heart, I'm bringing him down with me. He'll be
innocently doing some work at the computer and before he knows it, he's sucked in.

I guess you can tell from the content of my post today, not a lot was going on. I will say that it's
day 4 of no caffeine or soda and up until about 1:30p today, I haven't had anything to drink except water since Friday night. Today was the first day that I didn't have a headache so I thought I'd treat myself to a little bottle of Cran-Grape. I drank it right up and then saw that it was 240 calories and 6 WW points! I thought I was going to croak. SOOO, do any of you know of some low calorie drinks that don't have aspartame?

Oh, and by the way, you need to head over to Fabulously Frugalicious and enter her giveaway for some adorable keylettes.

Snakes and Caffeine

My Daddy sent me an email last week of this:

97 lb rattlesnake found in just north of Enterprise

9 feet, 1 inch - 97 lbs. - Biggest rattler found since Ross Allen captured one in 1969 that measured 9 feet, 1 inch but only weighed 78 lbs.

This old guy was found inside an open water tank near an abandoned chicken house.



NO, NO, NO! This just makes me hurt. And look at the smile on his face. This man is proud that he caught this. Let me be clear. If this thing was found ANYWHERE near, not just my house but the vicinity of my neighborhood, I would move in with my Mama and Daddy and there would be a For Sale sign in my yard faster that you can say, "Jill has left the building."



On another note, I wanted to let ya'll know that I have given up my Caffeine/Diet Coke/Diet Mtn. Dew habit. I can honestly say, it's one of the hardest things I've ever done. I feel like I'm betraying my first love or something. I drank my last one Friday night and I'm on Day 3 of withdrawals. BUT! I know this is good for me and although Jay doesn't know it yet, he's gonna get me a BIG OLE prize because he's so proud!

Weekend Wrap-Up

I would like to say that I was major productive this weekend but that would be a big ole lie. I pretty much procrastinated on just about everything I needed to get done and was the biggest bunch of lazy you've ever seen. I'm trying to justify it due to the fact that it pretty much stormed all weekend.

In the Jill Dictionary, storm has several definitions:
1. opportunity to sleep
2. opportunity to read
3. opportunity to watch TV

I like to think that the stronger the storm, the more I should do all 3 of the above and believe me, the storms were STRONG this weekend!

P.S. The Yankees beat the Mets today 15-0!

Abbie Girl

It's a special day. Today is my niece, Abbie's 8th birthday. She is the sweetest thing you'll ever meet and I love her with all my heart. When Sister was pregnant and after we found out that she was having a girl, I dreamed and dreamed of what she would be like. None of my dreams came even close to how wonderful she is.

I wish you could meet her. She's a cross between Anne of Green Gables and Laura Ingalls. She has a smile that lights up a room and a laugh that will keep you smiling all day. Oh, and I wish you could talk to her on the phone. She has the cutest little voice and believe me, she could talk all day if you let her.

I have loved and will continue to love every minute of watching her grow up. She's one of the best things that ever happened to me. I love you Abbie Girl!

Spaghetti Squash

No lie ya'll, I made Spaghetti Squash for the first time tonight. AND IT WAS GOOD! It could not have been easier.

This medium Spaghetti Squash could easily serve 6.


Step 1: Boil it for about 30 minutes.


Step 2: After letting it cool for about 20 minutes, cut it in half and scoop out the seeds and goop in the middle.


Step 3: Take a fork and scrape the sides. It is amazing how it just comes out so easily and looks like Angel Hair Pasta.

Step 4: Pour your favorite sauce on top and let it simmer till hot. (I used this Zesty & Spicy sauce for the first time and it had a great spicy kick!)


The finished product! Sprinkle a little parmesan cheese and wa-lah! You're done. FYI, if you're a Weight Watcher's guy or gal, I counted this as a 3 point meal. A cup of the spaghetti squash was right on the line of 0 and 1 point, 1/2 cup of this sauce was 1 point and I made my own garlic bread (2 pieces of the WhiteWheat bread with no-calorie spray butter and garlic salt!) which was 1 point.


So... I liked it, Jay liked it, and it was REALLY easy!

A Dollop of Dolly

I would love to be able to tell you that this is my 100th post, but apparently I missed it and this is my 101st. I hate that too because I had so many pearls of wisdom to share on my 100th. OK, not really - but I originally signed on to tell you about my love for Dolly Parton.

She was on 60 Minutes tonight and once again I marveled about how cute and down-to-earth she is. I love it that she's so open and honest. She is tee-niny and seriously, that little giggle is just about the cutest thing ever.

Sister and I have always loved Dolly so I thought I would give you a list of my top 5 FAVORITE Dolly songs - in no particular order:

Islands in the Stream
I Will Always Love You
Here You Come Again
Why'd You Come in Here Lookin' Like That
9 to 5

Speaking of 9 to 5, I wonder how Mama Hen is coming with her "New Year's Resolve"???

And for your viewing pleasure, here she is - enjoy! And by the way, what's your favorite Dolly song?

How "High" Do You Have To Be?

My sweet hubby has had a hankerin' for years to skydive so he headed out to Cullman Sunday to give it a try.

Uhhh, you would have had to pry my cold, dead hand off the backside of the plane before you would see me jump out to this.

A little too close for comfort.

Thankfully, he didn't much care for it so I won't have to get him to upsize the life insurance policy anytime soon. It's like my Daddy says, "Why would anyone want to jump out of a perfectly good airplane?" And like I say, "I would have to be 'high' to go skydiving." Get it??? High - a little pun on words. I'm pretty sure I'm the only one laughing at that.

Tales from San Fran

In our first full day in San Francisco, we got the bright idea that we would bike to and across the Golden Gate Bridge. Check us out - and yes, I was the only dork with a helmet. You have to give me a break, it's been a lot of years since I've ridden a bike.

For the love, it was SO FAR away! It turned out to be about 8 miles there and 1.7 miles across. Most normal people ride down the hill to Sausolito after crossing the bridge and catch the ferry back to Fisherman's Wharf. Oh, but the frugal girls that we are couldn't imagine paying $28.00 to rent our bike and only getting a couple of hours out of it. SO, we biked back across and 8 miles back. Thankfully, the saying "it's like riding a bike" is true and I didn't hurt myself or anyone else.

Lombard Street was really beautiful and pretty scary when you're driving down in the car. It's known as the Crookedest Street in America. Some of the most expensive real estate in San Francisco is on either side.

This was our last night. I think we were all getting a bit antsy about getting home.

We ate at Sears before heading to the airport. It was beyond great.

I had the best time and I can't thank my sister-in-law enough for letting me tag along on her business trip.

Check out the cutie that was waiting for me at the airport. It's good to be home!